The Art of Letter Writing

Everyone loves a letter!The art of writing a beautiful letter is not unlike the art of conversation. It takes practice, elegance, humor, wit, and intimacy. The best way to begin is to study. Read some of the most well-noted love letters and letters of import or significance throughout the history of human civilization. Humans have been communicating by hand written letters for thousands of years. It is only in the last 20 years that we have begun to communicate electronically with increasing reliance on technology to do the talking for us. As a result of text messages, emails, and social networking sites we are able to stay in touch more regularly- but, the quality of information, intimacy and depth of meaning, is completely lost. It simply cannot exist by the very nature of electronic communication which was built for brevity. It is a passive, voyeuristic way of communicating without any kind of emotional investment- easy to walk away from and easy not to take seriously.

The thing is, relationships with people, depend entirely on communication. How are you communicating with the people in your life? If you graphed it out in a pie chart, what part of the pie would be through texts, phone calls, in person, hand-written letters? According to recent studies-  over 80% of us prefer texting over calling and social networking over in-person encounters. The reasons are because it is safer, its easier, its less of a time commitment, and its less of an emotional commitment. Do you smell the fear and apathy yet? What does that say about the quality of our relationships? Disposable, in a word.

Writing a letter is also about engaging your senses. The texture of the paper, the gliding of your pen, the colors and smells of your environment, the concentrated focus it takes to actually put your thoughts and feelings into words, as well as the initiative, courage, and time it takes to write and send a letter. What are you going to say? Do you have much to say? That is the investment you make and the risk you take in writing a letter. It is up to you to decide how much of yourself to share. No matter if you receive a reply, the reward will still be yours. Engage your senses and tap into a part of yourself that is rarely allowed the time to flourish and come to the surface. Light candles, make coffee or tea, play beautiful music and create a sacred space for the purpose of writing a letter. This is a gift to yourself and the person you are sharing yourself with and should be a task undertaken with love and special attention. Make it a real pleasure to write and a joy for the person to read.

Writing a good letter should take at least an hour. Prepare your environment with instrumental music or complete silence so that you can hear yourself think. Make sure there are no distractions to interrupt your train of thought. To spare your reader from elementary and repetitive vocabulary (*yawn), do some reading first but, write as you would naturally speak. There should be a nice flow to your letter and it should sound like it is coming from you, not Shakespeare because letter writing is about being authentic. Above all, be sincere and open up a little. If nothing else, a letter is about sharing a part of yourself, in addition to the news of your life and other topics of interest. Your reader will gain nothing, if all you talk about are topical subjects. A good balance of information, introspect, emotion, and perspective are key to a great letter. Make it worth your while and make it worth something to the person you are writing to.

I find that gathering the materials to write letters, in advance, boost the incentive and likelihood of your actually following through with the notion. Take yourself to the local craft store or a quality paper shop. Ordering environmentally friendly paper products and soy ink pens online is also a good idea. Never thought about creating personalized stationary? Now's your chance! Afterall, it is a busy world and the reason our methods of communication have become entirely electronic- are because they are so fast! Writing letters is about slowing down. To write- you must slow everything; your environment, your thought process, and proceed with care to really focus for an hour or two on the endeavor of meaningful communication. Many people feel that they express themselves better in writing than in conversation, because it gives you the opportunity to stop and think before having to respond suddenly. You may be surprised at how much you enjoy writing letters.

Head to the post office and buy several sheets of stamps. I usually buy three sheets at a time and enjoy choosing from the variety of stamps available, afterall not all mail is the same and not all letters are the same! When you have a huge number of stamps on hand, you are more likely to write letters.

Its also a good idea to stock up on a variety of different cards, stationary, various types of paper and of course, envelopes . If you see a card or bundle of parchment on sale- don't think twice! Just buy it. You don't need to dream up a face to send it to right at that moment. If you come across a set of cards at the farmer's market or a craft show that appeals to you, take it home and when the time is right- you will put it to use. And depending on how much energy you want to put into your letters, consider the wide array of writing instruments available. Start by buying a good selection of ink pens that are comfortable to hold so that you will always have them on hand, if all else fails. From there, consider colors, antique fountain pens, calligraphy pens, gel ink pens or using a typewriter if your handwriting is really that bad. Typewriters will provide the tactile satisfaction of writing and reading the letter- but, stay away from the computer printer. Above all, handwriting is the best method. Some say that writing things out with your hands, puts you in touch with a more unconscious part of your psyche that is otherwise sleeping.

Let the people that you care about in your life know that you would like to send them a letter and ask for their address. If they don't care to respond, it is their loss and they just saved you from wasting any further time on a friendship that obviously doesn't mean much to them. The people who do care and are quality friendships, will respond not only with their address, they will eventually respond with letters of their own. Make sure you keep the addresses in an address book so as not to lose them. To ask for someone's contact information repeatedly, signifies that there is a lack of real care or consideration to begin with and no one appreciates that.

It is a great gift to the people in your life to receive mail. It is also a great gift to know, that they now have someone to write letters of their own to. Because letter writing has so quickly become old fashioned and outmoded, no one thinks to ask anymore. Deepen an acquaintance into a friendship or a friendship into a deeper, more meaningful friendship. And in love? There is no better way to express your love than in a letter. A letter is something that is treasured- for all the rest of someone's life. Make sure you keep all the letters you receive in a special place, a designated box or something. Because when you are old or lost or lonely- you will take great pleasure in re-reading those letters and reminiscing about the friends and lovers in your life who took an hour to share themselves with you one day. Remember, a letter is a timeless gift and should be treated with great care and respect, just like the relationships in your life. To receive a letter, is an honor and a joy, for everyone.